When I say the word provocative, my thoughts are coming from the word provoke. 


When you write your online dating profile, you want to provoke conversation. After all, that is the goal.


It’s also fun to think of it in a sexy way. The thesaurus will direct you to similar words such as, edgy, playful, rousing. Right now, these are the words sparking your attention.


Trigger responses from others by writing with bold provocative statements. 


Descriptive language and simple structure creates good easy vibes.

woman subconsciously thinking of things.

Underneath It All


You’ll often hear coaches and therapists ask a person to attach their emotional feeling to a physical feeling.


For instance, if you feel anxious before a big meeting, where do you physically feel that feeling? For me, it’s my upper back and shoulders.


On the flip side, the opposite is true. When I feel relaxed and happy and content my shoulders follow suit.


And, If I’m feeling happy, relaxed and content, I am going to be more open to social engagement.


It’s subconscious mind stuff.*^ It’s what you are conveying between the lines. 


Your profile does have the power to create mood.




Formatting matters when creating your online dating profile. I don’t mean go whip out your MLA handbook. What I do mean is, consider the thought that when something has an easy flow it also radiates that kind of energy. 


Think of a time you read something that was choppy and incongruent. Did you feel slightly agitated? Did you want to give up because you didn’t know wtf someone is talking about?


Put your reader at ease by not using a ton of punctuation, emojis, run on sentences, misspelled words, etc. Don’t make things tough to decipher. 


People are more likely going to reach out to those who put them at ease to do so. 


Using Verbs and Adjectives


Adjectives and verbs help add feelings and visualization to what you’re writing. 


Tell a story. Create visualizations and get people to imagine what it would be like to be in your company.


Adjectives and verbs add description. Find ways to describe your feelings about things or better describe things you like to do – put more action into it. 


In this case, the flow of your words you use to describe an action provokes certain twinges. 


When someone notes how you feel about something, and they can relate, you’ve captured attention.

Man Relaxing With Good Vibes


Consider These Examples


I have a fabulous group of friends and it’s always a good time when we get together. Sometimes, we have to make sure our laughter doesn’t defy the noise ordinance.


Vibe: Upbeat, fun-loving.
Convo Starter: You sound outgoing and charismatic. Do you have a favorite board game?
Response: Board games? Not yet, I’m more of a high stakes, poker kind of gal. Tell me about that leggo collection.


One Saturday a month I hop in my pickup and go antiquing. I found some of the most fabulous treasures over the years.


Vibe: Passionate about a hobby, has a routine.
Convo Starter: I’ve been to an antique show here and there. What’s your favorite thing to look for?

And when they tell you dolls and clown figurines, you can run for the hills.


I’m an adrenaline junkie and on the weekends you’ll usually find me on something motorized. I also wake up early a few days a week to go mountain biking.


Vibe: Athletic, active, routine
Convo Starter: Got a helmet for me?


I value my morning routine: Sipping hot coffee, listening to birds and working on my to do lists.


Vibe: Relaxed, quiet ,organized, digs nature.
Convo Starter: What’s your favorite kind of bird? Or, if you were a bird what would you be?


In The End


MY GOAL as a profile writer is to get people to ask YOU questions. I want people to reach out to you first.


The content of your online dating profile is meant to capture attention and start conversations. What you write about is meant to incite conversations about topics you love to talk all day about. It’s easy to talk about the things we love. And, when we feel more at ease then we feel more like ourselves.


I like to think that the profiles I write have magical powers but I know realistically they don’t.


I can’t control what happens after a conversation starts, but no one knows until they try.


Perhaps you start a conversation, go out on a date and, ultimately, you’re not for them or they’re not for you. The fact is, you’ll never be given a chance to try if you’re being swiped by.

*Related Books:

Subliminal: How Your Unconscious Mind Rules Your Behavior^

^Your purchase price is the same and I receive a small commission. I’m proud of the books I’ve read and how they have helped me learn and grow. I enjoy sharing the wealth. I thank you kindly for your support, Lydia.

Related Posts

The How-Tos

My Books:

How To Write A Great Online Dating Profile.

Within, you will find my best tips and strategies, including dos and don’ts, before and after examples, and a template to follow. There is also advice on which photos to choose and how to craft email messages. You will also find full written samples and a questionnaire to use for idea generation.

The Mindful Dating Path

I designed this dating journal to help you process thoughts and feelings as they relate to who you are deciding to spend time with. This journal is a mix of guided prompts and plenty of free flow. You may want to view it as a mix of a plain journal and an interactive workbook. The prompts are recurrent based on Date 1, Date 2, Date 3 and more.

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