The Question I Can’t Answer
People often ask me what my success rate is.
It’s embarrassing. I want to have an answer. A good answer. But, I don’t.
I’ve tried getting answers from people, but only crickets respond to my outreach. I do value what people have to say. I enjoy what I do and I am always trying to get better at it.
The Criticism
A former client reached out again for a profile refresh. In his message he said to me:
“For my Bumble bio from last time it worked but many people I matched with said it sounded way too serious and intense – at least for that app.”
Too Serious is the feedback I receive sometimes.
My Thoughts On The Matter
I have an ego too, and it does sting a little when people lay on the serious comment.
However, I’ve heard, I hear and I’ve made changes. I recognize the validity of lightheartedness, and I have moved my writing to be a little bit more upbeat.
I now focus on the magic of three: A blend of seriousness, lightheartedness, and neutral down-earth stuff.
Even though I’ve made adjustments, I still have a strong opinion about this one.
I found the “wrong app” comment peculiar.
Is Bumble’s motto, Serious People Need Not Enter?
Such a statement implies expectations. Apparently these ladies weren’t expecting to chat with a man who was actually serious about dating, even though that’s what they say that’s what they’ve been craving to find.
I’ve heard the complaints, I keep up with online dating trials and tribulations.
Funny is so often recommended for online dating profiles. It’s turned into an expectation. Whoever tells the best joke wins!
Be the Black Swan of online dating profiles. Be the unexpected.
The Serious Paradox
Might a serious undertone actually be the key ingredient?
If you’re someone who’s looking for a serious relationship, why would you want to appear aloof?
Most clients I work with have serious relationships goals in mind.
I want to help them achieve that. And, I’m not going to do that by continuing to promote sarcastic and self-deprecating humor.
I’m going to help folks with the nudge they need to express their desires and attract counterparts who share similar values and outlook on life.
What Is Success?
When people ask about success rate, they are usually asking about whether or not past clients have found the relationship they are looking for. Again, I wish I knew.
However, the goal of your online dating profile is to get conversations started.
Success beyond that point is out of my control. Human nature has way more variables than one dating profile can allot for. The part I’m hoping for, for my clients, is that what I wrote has opened them up to more opportunities to find that success.
Once conversations start, once real life dates happen and once you start getting to know one another a little bit more than all the stories will unfold. All the not-serious, and all the serious.
When you break it down, the beginning of dating is as simple as saying:
Hey, I’m human
Hey, I’m vulnerable.
Hey, I’m serious about looking for a partner.
Just. Like. You.
Conclusion
As a profile writer, I can’t do anything about what happens after two people start having a conversation.
For years, I’ve been practicing creative writing and adding intrigue to profiles for the purpose of helping people forge connections.
I’m proud of what I do and I love when I come up with really great lines. I feel triumphant when I write a Bumble profile within the three hundred character limit on the first try.
It’s a great feeling when I send a first draft and the response is utter awe at the way I was able to put everything together.
Move over ChatGBT.
I have endless messages from folks who have loved the profile I’d written for them. That part is success for me.
I just don’t know what happens after, but I like to think I actually do.
🙃😉😀
Visit all the How-Tos and learn more about how I do what I do.
Follow Me on Instagram and Threads: @hiddengemprofiles.com
See lots more writing tips and samples.
Order my book from Amazon: How To Write A Great Online Dating Profile.
Within, you will find my best tips and strategies, including dos and don’ts, before and after examples, and a template to follow. There is also advice on which photos to choose and how to craft email messages. You will also find full written samples and a questionnaire to use for idea generation.
Also: The Mindful Dating Path.
I designed this dating journal to help you process thoughts and feelings as they relate to who you are deciding to spend time with. This journal is a mix of guided prompts and plenty of free flow. You may want to view it as a mix of a plain journal and an interactive workbook. The prompts are recurrent based on Date 1, Date 2, Date 3 and more.
If you are someone thinking about trying online dating or giving it another go with a different approach, check out the Packages and Pricing Page and start dating with a great online dating profile.
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