I’m an online dating profile writer and everyday I go through the list of Hinge prompts, picking those best suited for the client profiles I’m working on.
There is an extensive list to choose from, some are good, some are bad and let’s pretend some don’t exist.
These are Hinge specific, but the ideas apply to any dating app platform.
Basic Rules Of Thumb
Hinge limits you to three prompts, 150 characters each. Go for well-rounded: Choose three prompts that balance seriousness, lightheartedness and what you are looking for.
Be Positive. Always be positive.
Write about what you would want to talk about.
You don’t always have to answer the question exactly. As long as its a statement which initiates conversations about your interests/passions/values.
Prompts To Stay Away From
A Boundary Of Mine Is…. Or Therapy Recently Taught Me….
Too personal. Stay away from anything too personal. We all get it these days. We have crap we are working through, or worked through, etc. But, dating is a place where the future is supposed to be the focus, it’s fresh and new. Dating is another place for you to do some learning and growing.
Also, think about this: Boundaries tend to arise in a person’s life because of some sort of conflict. Lots of times we learn about what our boundaries are by the feeling we get when someone crosses them. Who wants to talk about that?
If someone asks you about your answer to that questions, you put yourself in a position to have to discuss a touchy topic.
With all the other prompt options, it’s not worth the risk.
My Biggest Date Fail
Can you all please save yourself from using your dating life as a topic of conversation? Might as well ask me: So, how’s dating going for you? Ick, cringe, thanks for ruining the mood.
Failure doesn’t usually light us up in a positive way. And, what constitutes failure?
Answering this question is a waste of the already unlimited space you have.
“I went on a date with a person who spilled wine all over my one hundred dollar bills.”
These don’t bode well for great introductions
Instead, how about a prompt that activates a conversation/topic like this:
My greatest strength:
I have a strong passion for volunteer work and I hang with a youth group every two weeks. We plan meals, tasked with tracking down ingredients (mostly me), and we meet, cook up great food, catch up on life and have lots of laughs. Some kids don’t realize that there’s more to life and it’s a fun way for me to pay it forward.
A Few More:
Key to My Heart
People might feel limited. It’s like saying, I only date men who are at least six-feet tall.
First Round Is On Me If
I do what?
There’s an undertone of having to abide by a person’s request and people generally don’t like to have to owe somebody something, especially for a date. We are all in the same boat.
Green Flags I’m Looking For
This might make a person feel like they have to be up on a pedestal. It’s got an undertone of should, and most of us don’t like being told what we should or shouldn’t be/do, etc.
You Should *Not* Go Out With Me If
I can see people answering this question with, petty, high maintenance, a drug user, etc. It’s asking for negativity, don’t fall into the trap.
Some of My Favorites Prompts
I Geek Out On
This is an opportunity to be serious, but also humble and charming. It’s also an opportunity to relate or find commonalities – that we all have geeky things we do.
My self-care routine: I drive a few miles out of the city to get manicures. If I have extra time I squeeze in a pedicure. Also, don’t mind the eye cream I keep in my fridge.
OR
Reeling in the big ones: I compete in fishing tournaments, and I have a few trophies on display. I only send fish pics upon request, and I promise my clothes don’t smell.
A Life Goal Of Mine
Great way to demonstrate future aspirations, paint a picture and create an experience.
I’m looking forward to transitioning to the nomad RV lifestyle and travel cross country – hitting all the national parks.
Or
My bucket list is an amalgam of adventure, whimsy and lots of lounging on the beach. Relaxation is always on my to-do list.
What If I Told You That
Another chance to be cute, but serious.
Real Men Cuddle Cats
OR
I let my brother dare me into jumping off the roof into a pile of snow. You might think we were 10, but this actually happened last year.
My Simple Pleasures
Another opportunity to create visualization.
I wind down by sitting on my deck with a cup of tea, watching the sunset and reflecting on my day. Other nights it might be Andy Griffith. My favorite father and son duo.
OR
Obligatory lazy Sundays, motorcycle riding, and a few particular flavors of ice cream.
Don’t forget. The goal of your online dating profile is to start conversations. Capture interest and leave room for question asking. Leave people wanting to know more. Once conversations begin, all the stories and bigger picture things will unfold and relationships will build.
We are all interesting people with unique personalities, styles and lifestyles. Connect with others through shared values and passions and dreams.
Follow Me on Instagram and Threads: @hiddengemprofiles
See lots more writing tips and samples.
Order my book from Amazon: How To Write A Great Online Dating Profile.
Within, you will find my best tips and strategies, including dos and don’ts, before and after examples, and a template to follow. There is also advice on which photos to choose and how to craft email messages. You will also find full written samples and a questionnaire to use for idea generation.
Also: The Mindful Dating Path.
I designed this dating journal to help you process thoughts and feelings as they relate to who you are deciding to spend time with. This journal is a mix of guided prompts and plenty of free flow. You may want to view it as a mix of a plain journal and an interactive workbook. The prompts are recurrent based on Date 1, Date 2, Date 3 and more.
If you are someone thinking about trying online dating or giving it another go with a different approach, check out the Packages and Pricing Page and start dating with a great online dating profile.
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