Not too long ago I was listening to a woman complaining about what she does not like about mens’ dating profiles. She demonstrated the man who uses a picture of him standing in front of his car with some sort of show off pose.
Basically, she assumed this particular man was cocky and she was not impressed by his fancy four wheels.
Naturally, the solution seems obvious: Don’t use the picture. However, in these cases, a car is part of a man’s life. So, what’s a man to do?
I say, use the picture and caption it with something like:
My summer ride: Because I saved up forty summers for it.
Or
I tend to be a minimalist, but my ride has to have all the bells and whistles. It’s how I roll.
Within the body of your profile, pair that statement with:
I have a rewarding and fulfilling career and I love the work I do. I’m goal-oriented and I keep my eye on the prize.
Together with your picture and your written words, you demonstrate your hard work and determination. You paint a picture and elicit a feeling. This is what potential dates will find attractive. Some women may be impressed by fancy cars, but most are looking for what your fancy car means to you.
Own your successes in a humble way and potential dates will see your confidence, your drive, your ambition and your ability to treat yourself to nice things.
Keep your thoughts going and consider how a conversation based on these statements might get started.
For instance, woman messages man on a dating app: “Wow! Sounds like you love your career! I’d love to hear more about what you do and what about it is so thrilling for you.”
From here, the conversation can go in all sorts of directions, but at this stage of the game a conversation has started, and that is what you are going for.
I had a client once who owned a lot of land, multiple homes, had his pilot’s license, etc.
Why shouldn’t he express how proud he is of his successes? Also, this is his lifestyle; he has to be honest about it. You really have no choice but to express the true realities of your life and how you live.
In some situations, a man trying not to come off as braggy might shy away from saying much about himself at all. Perhaps he’s afraid of women only being attracted solely to his presumed wealth. It’s natural given our tendencies toward stereotypes.
However, as mentioned, the trueness of your life is going to come out.
If you are a woman who has zero interest in living on a ranch, frequently riding horses and puddle jumper planes are on your hell’s no list, then you will save yourself and this man the time of chit chatting only to find out the inevitable.
This what I wrote:
After a rewarding and successful career I’m fully retired now and happily living most of my days off the grid. You’ll find me riding horses, mowing fields or getting the lay of the land flying in my small airplane. Not a total recluse, I enjoy traveling overseas or planning cross-country road trips.
A Few More Examples
For the neurosurgeon:
I am warm-natured, compassionate and I have a determined personality. With these combined I’ve built a career I love and I’m proud of the work I do.
For the Athlete:
After many years of training, this past year I won my first ironman competition.
For The Avid Traveler:
I’ve been fortunate to have already traveled to some amazing destinations and I’m excited for so many more. To me, traveling is such a great way to learn about the world.
For The Sailor:
To me, there’s no better feeling than hoisting my sails and letting the wind take my boat where it wants me to go. I belong to the local yacht club, the best place for me to combine relaxation, exercise, nature and laughing with friends.
Conclusion
Remember, the goal of your online dating profile is to get conversations started. You do this by being genuine, honest, humble and adding a little intrigue.
Don’t say too much and don’t say too little either.
Be direct and be bold. Show your confidence.
Follow Me on Instagram and Threads: @hiddengemprofiles.com
See lots more writing tips and samples.
Order my book from Amazon: How To Write A Great Online Dating Profile.
Within, you will find my best tips and strategies, including dos and don’ts, before and after examples, and a template to follow. There is also advice on which photos to choose and how to craft email messages. You will also find full written samples and a questionnaire to use for idea generation.
Also: The Mindful Dating Path.
I designed this dating journal to help you process thoughts and feelings as they relate to who you are deciding to spend time with. This journal is a mix of guided prompts and plenty of free flow. You may want to view it as a mix of a plain journal and an interactive workbook. The prompts are recurrent based on Date 1, Date 2, Date 3 and more.
If you are someone thinking about trying online dating or giving it another go with a different approach, check out the Packages and Pricing Page and start dating with a great online dating profile.
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