Biggest Mistake People Make In Their Online Dating Profile. It’s Not What You Think.
If you are online dating, I’m sure you’ve searched for tips and tricks to writing your online dating profile. And, I’m sure you’ve read about common profile mistakes such as:
Writing too much, too little, or nothing at all
Spelling/Grammar errors and not using any formatting
Negativity/Complaining (talking about ex, listing demands, self-deprecating)
However, there is a bigger picture to look at when these mistakes are made. In my opinion, the biggest mistake of all: Appearing as if you don’t care about dating.
Your online dating profile is the foundation of what’s going to happen next. Who you are going to talk to, who you are going to meet, and eventually, the person you are going to spend the rest of your life with. Do you want to miss out on the chance for the latter because you didn’t want to put time, thought, energy and effort into what you are writing (or having someone else write).
If you do any of the above “no nos,” you are demonstrating lack of attention and forethought, as well as indifference, apathy, and negligence.
That might sound pretty harsh, but a person looking for a genuine long-lasting relationship is going to be looking for someone who demonstrates a certain type of maturity. A maturity that reveals itself, even if ever so slightly, by the way of putting thought and care into their online dating profile.
If you write your profile with a certain nonchalance then you are establishing a notion that you will treat a relationship with nonchalance.
“The Open Book”
How many times have you seen a profile that said something to the effect of: “I’m an open book, if you want to know something, just ask.”
If you were looking for a new job, is that the self-summary you would put on your LinkedIn profile?
Also, yeah right. That’s quite the declaration. We all have topics of conversation that we don’t want to talk about. When you say something like you’re an “open book, you’re backing yourself into a corner. The outcome is either, you’re a liar because you don’t actually want to discuss everything under the sun, or you’re forced into a conversation that makes you feel mighty uncomfortable.
Spelling and Grammar
Even spelling and grammar mistakes will give the impression that you don’t care about the impression you are making.
I’m a writer and I write for other people so I take pride in making sure that my writing is tip top. However, with that said, I don’t think people should be chastised for simple mistakes in their profiles.
Let’s cut people some slack. We’re not all born to be writers.
But! Too many mistakes, careless writing with run-on sentences and no formatting whatsoever, doesn’t look good.
It looks like you didn’t really care what you were writing in the first place. It looks like you didn’t take the time to consider your profile as a whole. It doesn’t look like you care about how other people are going to see you.
Pro tip: Read your profile out loud and see how it sounds.
Online Dating Has An Unfortunate Stigma.
Bad online dating profiles give the impression that there is “no one good out there.” I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard that. It’s not true. I write profiles for amazing wonderful genuine people every day, so you can’t tell me that there’s no one good out there.
I understand that many of you may feel indignant. You feel like the world has lowered you to online dating. It makes sense, it’s hard to have a positive attitude about dating when you’re constantly discouraged by the amount of apathetic people you’re finding on these platforms.
The real unfortunate part, though, is most people are not apathetic. Most people are genuine souls looking for the same real, true, long-term, deep, fun-loving relationship you are. But, how are you supposed to know that when you read crappy online dating profiles?
What Is Online Dating, Really?
Online dating doesn’t transport you into an alternate galaxy of single people – a galaxy that equates to not real life. It keeps you right here on planet Earth alongside the other 40 million people in the same realm of our current world.
If you think about it, online dating is simply another “bar” you go to, or concert, or grocery store, or party. It’s a human gathering place.
When you do go to the bar or a party, or some sort of social gathering, what clothes do you put on? Ripped sweats and a stretched out Tee with holes in it? Or do you find your favorite “damn, I look smoking hot” outfit?
If you are stinky sweats guy, ok, don’t worry about putting effort into your profile. But, if you are someone who puts effort into your appearance, then put that same effort into your online dating profile.
The great thing about the online dating bar is that it has special clues that help you decide who you should be talking to. What could be better than that!? What special clues do you want entrants to know about you?
Currently Writing Your Online Dating Profile?
Show people how it’s done. Tell them to step up to your level and then you’ll play ball.
If you don’t do that, then the opposite is true: I won’t bother because it doesn’t look like anybody else does.
This is the bottom line: If you care, write like you care. Write from the heart, be bold and put yourself out there. Show people that you mean business.
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