What The Clients At Hidden Gem Are Looking For
As an online dating profile writer I am in a unique position of getting to know hundreds of people currently looking for love on various online dating platforms.
I excitedly share that I get to meet people without actually meeting them. And, over the years I’ve met thousands of people.
How do I do this? I use an extensive questionnaire geared toward finding interests, passions, values, etc. for clients utilizing my service.
In the online dating world we often hear, “there’s no one good out there.”
I beg to differ.
At Hidden Gem, we write profiles for amazing people every day. People who are genuine in their search and want to find their right person.
A while back I wrote a different post on who my clients are. In that post I mostly shared demographic information: Gender, age, occupation, etc. But, in this post I want to share what others tell me about what they value, what they are looking for and where they’d like to see themselves in 5-10 years.
There are MILLIONS of great people out there.
When I ask questions about what types of things folks value, these are common answers:
- Healthy work/life balance, lots of travel, personal growth
- They are curious-minded and love to learn new things
- They value kindness and helping others. They appreciate those who are open-minded and non-judgmental. They believe in inclusivity and appreciate diversity
- They are family-oriented and enjoy being positive leaders
When asked where folks see themselves in 5-10 years, I see lots of answers such as these:
- Deeply in love, kids on the way, advanced in my career, living somewhere along the southern California coast
- Married to a man with whom I fit with like a glove and enjoying my life with him
- Living in a larger city such as Chicago or LA, wealthy, ideally married to the perfect person.
- A fulfilling career (that lets me work from home), a wife, a dog, and owning a house
- I see myself spending my life with a wonderful man, traveling, being active and continuing to work
- Retired with the love of my life. Living in tropical surroundings …. Debt free Stress free – Enveloped in LOVE
- In a committed relationship, preferably marriage, with strong second half of life career winding down
Lastly, here are some replies when asked what qualities in another person they are looking for:
- Kind, Compassionate, Caring
- Smart, Confident
- Understanding, Thoughtful, Empathetic
- Honest, Trustworthy
This may be just a few out of a whole, but the way I see it, if there is one, there’s a million, and I’ve seen thousands of answers just like these. You do the math. I think that means there are multitudes wonderful people out there, just like you, looking for their own special connection.
So, you can have the perspective of: There is no one good “out there,” OR, you can give yourself a chance to see things differently. What if you believed: “There are so many great people out there, I just have to find the right person for me.
For those of you who tend to struggle with your initial connections, consider revising your profile to incorporate intrigue. Your profile is the one thing you can 100% control, it’s worthwhile making it the best it can be.
Be bold in your profile. Express who you really are at the core of yourself, your fundamental values and the things that you are grateful for in your life.
Don’t be afraid to share that stuff because that’s how you connect with people – how you connect with the RIGHT people. Goals and values are the best place to start when making a connection, interest and hobbies come next.
I believe if more people started writing their profiles that way then the online dating wouldn’t be as bad as many perceive it to be.
There is a way to incorporate your background, your values, your interests, what you’re looking for in a profile without revealing your whole life’s story. There is a way to be open, vulnerable and not being afraid to do so.