How To Be Better At Online Dating

 

As dating profile writers, we know a lot because we’ve seen it all. There’s no perfect way to online date, but there’s many ways to make it less stressful, and more fun. Here are our top tips for being better at online dating.

 

1. Skip Small Talk

First impressions matter. 

If you’ve been online dating for awhile, you are definitely familiar with the boilerplate first messages. If you aren’t familiar, I’m referring to anything in the realm of asking how someone is, what they do for work, or where they are from. Polite convo is a staple of introducing yourself to someone in person, it doesn’t transfer easily to the online format. These first messages set the tone for the rest of the interaction. So if you go into the conversation with something predictable and formulaic, it will be hard to pull away from. 

Instead of starting with a generic introduction, take a peek at her bio to discover common interests or intriguing details. Ask something specific, comment on something you find interesting, or use one of our conversation starters to jump right into it. Remember, repetitive questions lead to boring conversations which lead to swiping fatigue, and that’s the last thing you want.

Does this mean you shouldn’t care where they were born, how many siblings they have, or what their favorite color is? Of course not. But all this information comes up natural in the process of getting to know someone. 

2. Propose a Plan Early On

Let’s cut to the chase— the goal of online dating is meeting people in real life. 

Express your interest in an in-person meeting by suggesting a plan early. Mention an upcoming event, propose an engaging activity, or offer a specific free time slot for a potential meet-up. This makes your interaction more “real” and establishes a real-life event to look forward to. Anticipating meeting each other (and maybe even having some butterfly’s about it) grounds your interaction and makes you more than just another random match in their list of messages.

Keep it light and respectful, and if they responds positively, go ahead and ask them out formally. Oh, and here’s a golden rule: save the idea of visiting each other’s places for later– never propose it as a first date.

3. Break the Ice with a Call or Video Chat

Texting can be impersonal, and meeting face-to-face can be intimidating. 

Bridge the gap by proposing a call or video chat “date” before meeting in person. It’s a great way to get to know each other better while building comfort. Treat the call as a “mini-date” and let the conversation flow naturally. It doesn’t have to be a hours, even a 15 minute chat can create a sense of familiarity between you. On the flip side, if the conversation is awkward and enjoyable, if you don’t understand each others jokes, this is a sign to let it go before you invest too much time. Either way, it makes a better online dating experience.

If a call seems like a big jump, you can test the waters by just sending voice notes instead of written messages. 

But remember, not everyone may be up for this, so if they decline, don’t insist.

4. Be Picky with Your Swipes

Quality over quantity is the name of the game. While it’s essential to keep an open mind when swiping, be honest with yourself about your preferences. If you can’t envision a future with someone, don’t initiate a conversation—it saves both parties’ time and energy. Don’t let your ego inflate with match counts; focus on finding the right connection when online dating.

You can do some prep work by using your profile to filter out incompatible matches. Your written bio can do a lot for you when online dating, which is why having a high-quality one is essential. A good profile will attract the kind of people you are looking for, and deter the ones you aren’t.  Which results in better online dating and saves everyone’s time. Being clear is the best thing you can do.

5. Be Intentional With Your Time

 

Don’t let online dating consume your life.

You are complete and whole person, with more to you than who you are currently dating. While there are a multitude of reasons that you feel pressure to “find someone,” you are working against your best interests by letting the search consume you. Be aware of how much time and energy you are pouring into online dating, and do your best to be purposeful.

 

6. Embrace Your Appearance

Confidence is magnetic, no matter your looks. 

Hiding or obscuring your appearance is the worst thing you can do when online dating. No one wants to guess what you look like. When online dating, some people will be attracted to you, and some won’t. Just like in the rest of life. The person for you will love the way you look, as well as the rest of you.

Instead of hiding behind sunglasses or filters, invest in getting great photos that showcase your best self. Whether it’s through professional photographers or help from friends, let your confidence shine through. Online and in person.

7. Perfect Your Bio

When online dating, your bio is your digital calling card, so don’t underestimate its power. Make it a genuine reflection of who you are, highlighting your most appealing traits. It can be a difficult task to write about yourself, but if you’re serious about finding a perfect partner, your bio is the most important tool you have. It’s the deciding factor for many potential matches, and it’s a mistake to treat it as an afterthought to your photos.

If you’re struggling with this, don’t worry; we’ve got your back.

Now that you know…

Online dating may have its challenges. It can feel superficial, tiresome, or discouraging. But as with many things in life, your attitude in online dating will dictate your experience. Be kind to yourself along the way, and keep your goal in mind. Plenty of people have been where you are, and came out the other side. 

Good luck!