You Control Online Dating, It Does Not Control You.
Studies show that most do think positively about online dating, and have had positive experiences.
The first step to all online dating success is writing a good profile.
Relationships, no matter how you define them, start with your first presentation. In the case of online dating, presenting yourself means creating a bio and letting people be curious about you. From there, a conversation begins and connection forms.
For me, this is what is at the heart:
Better connections are formed when you give people something to be curious about.
Ultimately, we are all boring and we are all interesting – to someone. How do you find out which is which? Create an intriguing profile which captures the attention of interested parties and starts conversations.
Steps To Follow
Personal Branding
Do you have a LinkedIn profile or another kind of online bio?
Do you care what they look like? Do you care how you appear?
Pretend the dating app whether Match.com, Hinge or Bumble is the coolest new bar which just opened up in town. You’re excited to go to create a new experience for yourself and to meet new people.
Not into the bar scene? Think about it as any place where you would meet new people. Maybe it’s a knitting class. After all, you never know who’s gonna show up at a knitting class.
If you did go out somewhere in hopes that you might meet a special someone, what outfit would you wear?
When writing your online dating profile, the same concept applies. It’s the outfit you wear. Showcase yourself in an upstanding way.
And, of course, back it up in real life.
I suspect most of you aren’t.
Usually when we think of the word brand we think of a product.
Well guess what, you are a product. And, you are a person someone is looking for.
So, raise the bar and show people how it’s done.
Formatting
In the case of online dating profiles, when I say formatting I mean easy flow and readability.
When your reader is hit with a dense block of text, a million commas and misspelled/misused words it’s a turn off.
It’s a turn off because it’s a struggle to read.
You want someone to ‘get it,’ not have to decipher what you are trying to say.
Create a relaxed undertone by creating something with flow and melody.
In a lot of ways, it’s not about what words you use, but how you use them and more importantly, it’s about what other people see in between the lines.
Formatting shows care and consideration. It’s a simple thing lots of people don’t pay attention to. Yes, your dating profile may not be your college essay, but if you treat it as such, people will notice your effort.
Well-written, thoughtful online dating profile will stand out much brighter than a sloppy, cluttered profile.
What Stories Do You Want To Tell?
Before you begin writing your online dating profile, think about your favorite stories.
We all have stories to tell. And, our stories connect us. Stories are how we relate to one another.
What are the stories that light you up and make your best self shine? How do you want to share your life through story?
When writing your online dating profile, the trick to this is to allude to your story instead of sharing it outright. This way, you leave potential suitors able to ask more questions.
For Example
Avoid something like:
Ask me about the time my uncle spilled a Shirley Temple on my sister’s wedding dress.
The problem here is:
First, you’d be telling someone what to ask. Second, since that is the case, you’d be telling the same story over and over again.
If you allude to the story, you give people the opportunity to learn from you what they are most curious about. This also leaves you able to share stories in different ways.
Something like this works better:
I come from a big loving family – there’s never a dull moment when we get together.
Possible conversation starters from interested parties:
How big is your family?
What’s your most embarrassing family moment?
What kind of excitement are we talking about?
With questions like these, you can then talk about wardrobe malfunctions, your noise canceling headphones and how you have to rent a ballroom for family reunions.
Conclusion
It’s important to remember that online dating is just another way to meet people. It’s not inherently good or bad. The experience is what you make of it. If you approach online dating with a positive attitude and realistic expectations, you’re more likely to have a positive experience.
Online dating isn’t an alternate universe. It’s made up of all the same people. You are exposed to the same world whether you walk into a grocery store or open up an app. Both are filled with the same people. Real humans.
You are a real human and the people reading your profile are real humans.
Lest we not forget.
Order my book from Amazon: How To Write A Great Online Dating Profile.
Within, you will find my best tips and strategies, including dos and don’ts, before and after examples, and a template to follow. There is also advice on which photos to choose and how to craft email messages. You will also find full written samples and a questionnaire to use for idea generation.
Also: The Mindful Dating Path. I designed this dating journal to help you process thoughts and feelings as they relate to who you are deciding to spend time with. This journal is a mix of guided prompts and plenty of free flow. You may want to view it as a mix of a plain journal and an interactive workbook. The prompts are recurrent based on Date 1, Date 2, Date 3 and more.
If you are someone thinking about trying online dating or giving it another go with a different approach, check out the Packages and Pricing Page and start dating with a great online dating profile.
