Interested in self-help but don’t know where to start?

Below is a list of books I think everyone should read. To date, these are my favorites. These are the ones that helped me the most. The ones that were simple to read and explained to me concepts in easy to digest ways. 

I love human psychology, self-improvement and personal growth. I am almost always absorbed in one book or another, soaking in all sorts of new information, ideas and concepts. 

Often when I’m reading something new I think to myself, man, I wish I’d known about these books when I was dating. I would have done so many things differently. I would have learned to have more confidence in myself, I would have understood other people better and I wouldn’t have put myself in undesirable situations (not knowing they were undesirable at the time).

Better late than never! Married now, I can at least incorporate everything I’ve learned to continue bettering myself and helping to better my marriage. I’m grateful for these people and these books, teaching me wonderful useful tools that help me become stronger. I’ve been through rough times, just like everyone else. And, I will continue to do so. But, now I know of all these fantastic resources. I don’t like to think who I’d still be if I had never taken a deep dive into my own human evolution. 

The Laws Of Human Nature by Robert Greene*

This book is BIG. Like 1000 pages big. This book is a commitment, but it’s worth it. Cover to cover. I listened to this book on and off on Audible, taking me 6-9 months to get all the way through. I also now have a hard copy to pick up whenever I’m in the mood to refresh or learn again.

The 18 Laws that Robert Greene walks us through are true for every human person out there. That’s Me and You, this guy and that guy, her over there, and her over here. 

In my opinion, this book is a great foundation for understanding any further reading that has to do with human psychology, self-improvement and building relationships with yourself and others. 

If you’re a history buff, you’ll also enjoy this book for its lessons in history. Greene relates his theories to historical figures, from well-known to lesser-known. To me, this exemplifies the fact that people are people, regardless of time, era, environment, etc. These fundamental laws are innate.

This book helped me understand myself as well as other people in my world. I believe that if we learn to relate to others then we will find it easier to accept others and develop a live/let live attitude. That doesn’t mean you have to like everyone! It means, you’ve decided to resolve an understanding within that eases your mind and allows more peace.


Setting Boundaries Will Set You Free by Nancy Levin*

There are many books out there on boundaries. This is the one I read and it was well worthwhile. The concept of boundaries is a big topic in the world of human psychology, and for good reason. In short, boundaries are individual guidelines which define what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior within the framework of their own lives.  

This book is one of the first self-improvement books I read and it was eye opening. It helped me realize that I can indeed say NO. I don’t have to worry about other people’s feelings. If I feel uncomfortable in a certain situation, I can say NO to that situation. Boundaries are the force field around you, and you can allow and disallow what you choose. And, in doing so, you’ll feel more relaxed and at peace with yourself and your decisions.

In dating, we often let go of our boundaries in fear of not being able to form a relationship. However, the opposite happens. If we don’t set boundaries, we will not be able to form relationships with substance and with integrity. Instead, you might find yourself in a situation where you often feel dissatisfaction, frustration and resentment.


The Way of Integrity by Martha Beck*

This is one of the best books I’ve read in regard to living as your authentic self.

The minute I started listening, I couldn’t stop. 

In this book, Martha teaches us what it means to live within our integrity, AKA being true to ourselves and living the way that we want. 

Too often in life we make choices about how to live our lives based on what other people say, or what other people demand. Be it, family, friends, society and culture. However, as humans we have innate instincts and we are drawn to certain desires and aspirations, but we often bury these impulses out of fear of the world around us. Doing so only leads to detriments. 

Read this book if you want to start learning how to tap into your true feelings, your true thoughts and the true way you want to live your life.   


Not Nice and The Art Of Extraordinary Confidence: Your Ultimate Path To Love, Wealth and Freedom. By Aziz Gazipura*

In my opinion, both of these books go hand in hand. I actually listened to one on audible while I read the other on my Kindle. I think Aziz uses examples/scenarios that almost everyone can relate to. He’s a relatable guy himself. He’s no different than you and me and he doesn’t act as if he is. He gets to the point.

He teaches us that worrying about what others think is a detriment to us, and that short-term comfort has a lasting discomfort, and short-term discomfort has a lasting comfort. Confidence is key to the success of our pursuits and he teaches us how to recognize and utilize our confidence. 

Aziz references dating and relationships over and over in both of these books. After all, dating is where many of us let our confidence fall short.  There’s no doubt you will be able to relate to the examples he shares and in turn, you’ll be able to start teaching yourself not to fall prey to people-pleasing and to be confident in your thoughts, feelings and actions. 


Atomic Habits by James Clear*

You may see this book on many must read lists, and I concur. It’s straightforward, easy to read and understand. What I liked best is that it got me thinking about how we can organize our brain the same way we organize our closet. And, we can develop habits we want, and get rid of the ones we don’t by understanding how these habits fit into the greater picture of all things that make up our lives. 

Habits also come into play when we are dating. You may not even realize it. Do you tend to have the same habitual reaction to certain situations leading down the same path over and over again resulting in outcomes that you don’t want, instead of what you do want?

Incorporating what you learn from the above books I mentioned, as well identifying and analyzing your habits, will eventually lead down the right path and toward a life you truly want to be living. 

In Conclusion

If you are on a mission to learn and better yourself, all of these books are a great place to start. You can trust that I recommend books that are simple, straightforward and easy to comprehend. I don’t like reading anything that is convoluted. I like authors who get to the point and write to the benefit of all us “little people.”


A few others you might like:

The Obstacle Is The Way and Ego Is The Enemy by Ryan Holiday* (amongst his other great books)

Breaking The Habit Of Being Yourself by Joe Dispenza*

*All Links are affiliate links, which means that I receive a small commission when you purchase these items. The cost is the same to you. This is how I keep my posts ad free. I greatly appreciate your support.


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