The goal of your online dating profile is to get conversations started. The goal of online dating is to go out on dates.
If you get a conversation started with someone (or they start it with you) then your profile was a success. If you go out on a date with someone then online dating was a success.
All online dating sites and apps are platforms to give people an outlet to connect. It’s up to you to be human about the effort you put into it. Dating sites don’t come pre-loaded and they don’t do the work for you.
Most people think they have to meet the love of their life to consider online dating a success. And, yes, that is the ultimate big goal. But, let’s not forget the baby steps – small goals that lead to that one big goal.
It’s a similar perspective health and weight loss coaches give their clients. You try to do everything all at once, you are bound to find yourself disappointed or giving up. You put one giant expectation on yourself, and the outcome, only to end up doing a face plant.
A person who has never dieted or exercised usually does not start by training for a marathon. If they did, they would probably fail.
I’m not saying don’t dream big. Finding your perfect person, the love of your life, the one you can’t ever live without, is an amazing wonderful thing. Absolutely, 100%, do not lose sight of that. What I’m suggesting is to give yourself, and the process a break. Enjoy the journey. Appreciate the small successes along the way.
Naturally, when you don’t achieve that big goal as soon as you’d like, you want to blame someone or something. You and everyone else. As a result, online dating gets a bad rap. That bad rap circulates, further resulting in new, great amazing people not wanting to bother.
Who would want to sign up for online dating if all they ever heard was how horrible it is?
However, if you think about it, single people live in an amazing time. At what other time has anyone ever had so many dating possibilities? Online dating cuts right through the awkwardness of asking someone if they are single.
If you do online dating right, it works right! Even if the relationships don’t work out, online dating still did its job.
Over 10 years, I have had a good handful of boyfriends. All of which I met online (and a couple I met IRL). I’m still single, so obviously, these relationships didn’t work out. I don’t blame match.com for that! In fact, I give match.com a load of credit for giving me the opportunity to meet all these people. And, the knowledge I have now and the strength and confidence I gained from all my dating experiences are worth gold to me.
Without online dating, I might have had zero boyfriends in those 10 years and would most likely still be a shy, less confident woman. The thought of that makes me cringe. I’d take the crappy boyfriend that gave me the chance to realize and understand my worth over not having had that experience at all. Hands down.
For that, I say, thank you online dating.
At the end of the day, success is a perspective. You get to decide what success means to you.