We’ve all been there. We’ve all dated that person who’s got us guessing. That place of unknown, limbo and the back and forth – one day you’re sure he/she likes you, the next not so much. You’re left always wondering. But, of course, you are too afraid to ask. And, you’re too afraid to ask because you’re afraid of the answer. (Side note: If you are afraid to ask then you already know the answer.)
I hate to tell you this. Your relationship is not what you think/hope it is. No message or an inconsistent message is your answer. If a person is certain, you will know they are certain. You won’t have to analyze and deduce.
I’ve been there. I’ve made this mistake before. More than once, if I’m honest.
I’ve dated the guy who makes plans with me, genuinely likes to spend time with me, but is evasive when even the slightest reference to something off in the future is mentioned.
The guy who’s here today gone tomorrow. I regularly hear from him and then all of a sudden I don’t.
I’ve participated in the texting date night. I’d accepted texting conversations from a guy who wouldn’t make actual plans with me. But, he must like me, right?! Why else would he bother with texting?
No matter what situation you find yourself in and even if you know what’s happening, you tend to stick to it anyway. You’re hoping things will change. He/she will come around and realize how amazing you are and how much fun you could have together.
I suppose there are exceptions to every rule, but you risk your time. If giving it your time is a choice you want to make, that’s fine. But, don’t forget to be intentional about it and take responsibility for that choice.
Let’s start digging deeper into honesty. The real message you are getting from this person is you are not worth the effort. There’s nothing mixed up about that. All the other so-called (positive) messages you are getting are all being construed by your own thoughts. A person who values you, a person who wants you, is open and consistent.
Here’s another way to look at it. Let’s say you just can’t be convinced this halfsie boyfriend/girlfriend doesn’t want to be with you. Do YOU want to be with him/her? Do you want to be in a relationship with someone who is wishy-washy? Who is keeping you at arm’s length? Who is keeping you in their pocket for a rainy day?
YOU have a CHOICE. If your standards include a person who is present and all in, then that’s what you want and that’s what you should have.
Who cares what that other person is doing with their life. What do you want for your life?
I understand it’s tough. You like this person and you want them to like you. You think if you just gave it an honest go you will find that you are a great fit. Maybe that’s true. But, do you want to be the only party who realizes that? Who is that being fair to? Not you. Because while you’re wasting your time with a “maybe” your “absolute” might be passing you by.
And, if it is meant to be, this person will realize that whether you are biting at their teasing texts or not.
I’m not here to tell you what to do. I’m here to give you something to think about. Date with intention. Decide for yourself what you want and what you are willing to put up with. Your life is in your hands. Make decisions for yourself and own them.
Have fun, guys! Happy Dating!