In regards to dating, the word “picky” is open to two interpretations:
1) quick to judge, and 2) having standards and deal breakers.
Both have their pros and cons.
On the one hand, we don’t want to waste our time on someone we know we aren’t going to like very much. But, on the other hand, we might overlook a great catch based on a superficial reason (especially in the 500-character, swipe left/right environment).
More often than not I bet we are all too picky, and if that’s the case, a little self-awareness could help us determine whether or not we are passing over a great opportunity for a superficial reason. Want to know if you’re too picky? Let’s find out.
First, you have to look at what kind of “too picky” you are: are you the judgmental one or the high standards one? Little bit of both? No matter which you are, you might also be the one who doesn’t want Mr. Right to pass you by. So, what do you do about it? I suggest really and truly thinking about what it is you desire before you swipe left or right.
These are the questions we have to ask ourselves at the onset of online dating:
What are your intentions? Do you want to meet as many people as you can and just “have a good time” or, do you I want to find someone with whom you hope to build a genuine long-term connection?
Who have you dated before? What did you like about that person and what didn’t you like? What did you like about yourself while with them and what didn’t you like? What ended up not bothering you about that person that you thought would bother you? What did bother you about that person that you thought wouldn’t?
What do you value about all else? Do you value brains over brawn? Do you value having casual contact instead of genuine friendship? Do you value being treated with respect over being with someone you consider to have a perfect body? Do you value sex over companionship and friendship? How do you want to be judged by them? What do you consider valuable about yourself?
Once you start to figure out the answers to these questions you’ll get closer to picking the right guy in the dating pool line up. The beauty of online dating is that there is always someone else. It doesn’t work out with one person, re-evaluate all the above, log back on, and look for the one who is going to make you truly happy. Behind a dating profile is an actual real person, give him a chance. You never know.
