So, there you are ready to date. You get your pictures in order,  you have a great profile written, you set up your dating account and away you go. Mr. or Ms. Right is just a few clicks away. Very exciting!

Right away you start getting traffic, views, messages, etc. and you reach out to a bunch of people yourself. Whoop!

You set up a couple dates, they were ‘eh’ and you start searching again.

After doing this for a month or two the numbers start dwindling. You can’t find anyone else that sparks your interest, the number of messages are few and far between. Frustration onsets.

The people you are interested in aren’t interested in you and the ones who are interested in you don’t float your boat at all. You want to give up and curse the process. You ask yourself what you are doing wrong, or worse you start to think there is something wrong with you. There is nothing wrong with you!

Online dating can be aggravating. It’s the nature of the beast. You have high hopes, high excitement just to end up being disappointed.

Don’t give up, hang in there. Here are a few of my thoughts on how to keep going:

  • Keep an upbeat positive attitude. Others notice when we are angry and bitter and it’s not attractive. When we whine woe is me no ones likes me, boo hoo, it resonates. If we are looking for someone who is confident and comfortable in their own skin then we have to be that way too.
  • Smile!
  • Be open-minded. Go out on a date with someone you think you shouldn’t consider. Be smart and safe, but what have you got to lose – an hour getting a cup of coffee? Limiting yourself isn’t going to help (esp. for superficial reasons; don’t get upset at someone else for doing the same thing you are). People grow on us. Personality is attractive – give ’em a chance.
  • Consider logistics. I am often asked what site is the best. I say, the site with the most people on it. If you live in a less populated area expand your search radius.
  • Remember the success stories! It works. We’ve all heard the stories. We have friends who met online. There is no reason that can’t be us.
  • If you do find yourself at your wits end, take a break. Take a few months off and focus on something else. Clear your mind.

I want online dating to be a positive experience for everyone. I say that over and over again. It’s what YOU make of it! It’s what WE make of it. We only get out of it what we put in. Be patient.

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