Break-ups are tough and never fun. And, they aren’t any more enjoyable on the dumper as they are on the dumpee. Most people don’t like feeling rejected and most people don’t tend to feel good about hurting another person. I feel fairly certain of this assessment because I have been both.
Break-ups these days don’t seem to faze me much. I’m not sure if that’s because I know now from past experience that I will get over it, or because my heart wasn’t really in it to begin with. Either way, I come out just fine on the other side.
I do still get bummed out when a break-up occurs. I still experience the emotional roller coaster. I still allow myself to wallow if I’m so inclined. What keeps me going is remembering how that no matter what I always get through it and even better I tend to get through it realizing it was for the best.
Heck, I even acclimated myself to living in Japan right after a breakup. And that one was the hardest of them all. I didn’t just lose a boyfriend but a best friend, and a connection to a very special time period of my life. My heart still gets a little achy when I think about that one.
It makes me think about how easy it can actually be to let go of someone – to a person who was a big part of your life. I say this not just applying to ex boyfriends/girlfriends, but any friend we might have had along the way.
I lived and traveled overseas a lot. During these times I made friends – friends I was very close to. Now most of them are just someone I used to know. I never talk to them anymore. It’s sad in many ways, but boils down to life being life.
Facebook sort of keeps those connections alive and I’m grateful for that.
I’ve met people who were married and now have zero connection to their ex-spouse. That was a person they took the time to make a vow to spend eternity with. Poof! Over. Life goes on.
Perhaps my message is for the young people. Young people who are going through their first breakup and feel like the world is going to end. Trust me, you’ll get over it. I went out on a few dates with a guy a bit younger than me. He wasn’t too far out from a big breakup in his life. I thought to myself, been there done that. It was a life experience I had had that he hadn’t. I wanted to tell him, suck it up. But, I’m empathetic and I understand that it isn’t easy. ( Another tip: get over your ex first before dating again.)
Those I can’t relate to are ones who divorced after 10, 20, 30 years of marriage. I imagine that is super agonizing. But, I still say to those folks: There is life on the other side. Give yourself time to mourn, grieve, punch walls, cry, etc. But, at some point, pick yourself up, put on your boots and hit the ground. Life is too short to live in the past. Keep going forward.
I will say it again: Don’t live in the past. Life it too short. Use your energy to move forward. You can do it.
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