There’s No Right Way to Write an Online Dating Profile
Everyone is different. We look different, act different, and online date different. Since we all have our own unique qualities and quirks that make us special, there’s no perfect way to write an online dating profile.
Your profile should represent you, make you stand out, and leave a bit to the imagination. It should serve as a window, giving others a glimpse into your life and a feel of your personality.
It’s a Challenge to Represent Yourself
We admit, all that is a tall order for the 500 characters that Tinder allows.
It’s tough, but not impossible, to make a dating bio that walks the line between authenticity and attractiveness. Sharing the right details in the right ways can be a challenge, and even the pure act of writing about yourself can be unfamiliar and difficult.
We can’t tell you exactly how to write your profile (although we can write it for you), but we can let you know what to definitely not write.
What Not To Write
Below we’ve scoured the web to find some prime examples of dating bios that just fall flat. We don’t blame the people behind these profiles— not everyone goes into this with a guidebook.
As you read, think about your first impression of the person behind the profile: how you imagine their attitude and personality based on the parts of themselves they chose to show.
Dating Profile 1
“I’m really starting to hate this app… honestly don’t know why I haven’t deleted it yet.
But who knows, miracles can happen, right? Hahaha…
If you’ve actually read this far you’re probably one of the few good ones, lets get coffee?”
What’s Wrong
We get it, online dating can be hard, discouraging, and it can be hard to keep up your spirits. Feeling frustrated is understandable and valid.
But the second you adopt an attitude of “it’s already over,” you are shooting yourself in the foot.
Negativity (and positivity) are contagious. If you’re going into an interaction expecting it not to work out, it becomes a kind of self-fulfilling prophecy. It puts your matches in the position of having to raise your mood and prove themselves to you— a position no one likes to be in. Especially not with a stranger.
Let’s not ignore the hypocrisy of the fact that this individual is still on the app. Obviously they still have some hope and expectations for what they will find— or else they would have actually deleted their account, as they are threatening to.
Instead they are retreating behind a layer of sarcasm and defeatism that is as good as self-sabotage.
Dating Profile 2
“5”3 with an attitude, let’s see if you can handle it 😉 Prolly won’t be interested, but shot your shot anyway.
*Hint* be able to keep a basic convo and make me laugh
This app keeps giving me uglies so now I have to put this disclaimer: look at me an then look at you. If something doesn’t add up, don’t waste both of our times.
Not rude, just keeping it real, you’ll get used to it!”
What’s Wrong
Most likely what we see here is someone deeply insecure doing their best to overcompensate. Boosting themselves up by putting others down— in subtle ways (“be able to keep a convo”) and less subtle ways (“uglies”).
This insecure behavior is transparent and leaves a bad taste in the mouth of anyone that reads it.
And even if, let’s say, this individual really did have this high of an opinion of themselves, it’s still the wrong way of going about it. This person is declaring themselves shallow right off the bat, and considering themselves above others.
Dating Profile 3
“I know 99% of you have already swiped away but for the few that stuck around… hi *waves.* I know it’s not that much at first glance but my grandma says I’m handsome. I’ve been single for the past 8 years so I have a lot of love to give. Probably a little dorky, but sometimes can be kinda smart too.”
What’s Wrong
This online dating profile is on opposite end of the spectrum. While the last one is trying to paint a picture of very high confidence, this one goes in the other direction.
This individual is obviously a bit unsure of themselves in a few different ways. Which is, of course, fine– we all have insecurities. But an online dating profile, which should be the very best of your personality, should steer clear of this.
Even the one good quality mentioned– his intelligence– is obscured and diminished by a self-deprecating statement. If you’re going to say something about yourself on your online dating profile, say it proudly.
Over to You
While there’s few Some critical bio mistakes can mean that the people that you match with aren’t the people you are looking for. It’s no one fault, but can be a frustrating byproduct of not giving your bio a lot of thought.
Learn from these mistakes, and give your online dating profile a second look!
Order my book from Amazon: How To Write A Great Online Dating Profile.
Within, you will find my best tips and strategies, including dos and don’ts, before and after examples, and a template to follow. There is also advice on which photos to choose and how to craft email messages. You will also find full written samples and a questionnaire to use for idea generation.
Also: The Mindful Dating Path. I designed this dating journal to help you process thoughts and feelings as they relate to who you are deciding to spend time with. This journal is a mix of guided prompts and plenty of free flow. You may want to view it as a mix of a plain journal and an interactive workbook. The prompts are recurrent based on Date 1, Date 2, Date 3 and more.
If you are someone thinking about trying online dating or giving it another go with a different approach, check out the Packages and Pricing Page and start dating with a great online dating profile.
