New Year Resolutions To Find Your Soulmate

 

The winter holidays are what many would call an online dating off season. Many singles find themselves leaving their apps unchecked while relaxing and spending time with family.

This break can be nice, and gives you a chance to reflect on your past year. Take a moment to think about your 2023 online dating journey. 

What were the best moments, the most enjoyable dates? What was the toughest, the most disappointing matches? 

Most importantly, look at yourself. Were you always acting in your best interest, with purpose and intent? Do you feel content with the choices you made? Do you feel like you wasted time and energy?

What do you want to do differently?

 

New Year New Start

 

January brings new starts,  new sparks, and what is considered to be the busiest day of the online dating year. On the first Sunday of the month, we see a massive surge in people looking to find love online. 

If you’re in the market for a relationship, this is a wave you want to ride. The new year is a great opportunity to make changes, resolutions, and promises to yourself. 

If you aren’t happy with the way online dating has gone for you this past year, this is the time to change something. Henry Fords quote “If you always Do What You’ve Always Done, You’ll Always Get What You’ve Always Got” rings true as always. You can take control of what you’re getting. 

 

Resolution 1- Date Slower

 

The pressure of cuffing season definitely lights a fire under those of us who are online dating. 

You may have seen relationships all around you. You may have faced uncomfortable Christmas dinner questions about your relationship status. You may have felt cold with no one to share your knit blanket.

The pressure of being in a relationship can lead to rushed swipes, lowered standards, and questionable choices. 

In the coming year, make it a goal to take a breather and sloooww down. Swiping faster won’t make your ideal match suddenly appear, and it may actually hurt your chances as you drain your emotional energy tank on long shots.

Your first step is to talk to yourself. Get to know yourself again, and revisit the reasons you are online dating in the first place. You may have lost sight of it.

 

Resolution 2- Check Your Expectations

 

As you reflect on past dating experiences, think about what you expected going into the experience, and what you are expecting now. This can apply to your expectations of a partner, dating timeline, or the experience in general.

Consider whether your criteria for an ideal partner are too rigid. Being open-minded and flexible in your expectations can lead to connections with individuals who may not fit your preconceived notions but still complement you in (unexpected) ways.

This does not mean lower your standards. Instead, see the new year as a chance to have a blank slate— an opportunity to start fresh and with a new attitude. Leave behind the disappointments and frustrations of the past year. Focus on what comes next.

 

Resolution 3- Have Non-Conventional Dates

 

If you’re regularly going on dates, at some point you may get tired of the normal song and dance. Not that there’s anything wrong with the classic dinner/coffee/drinks. 

Going to the same places, partaking in the same kind of activities, may lend itself to you having the same conversations, feeling the same ways.

Online dating inherently already has an element of being inorganic, and it can be hard to recapture that feeling of excitement and butterflies. 

Doing something that is new, different, or even just a break from routine, can jolt you out of that sense of normality. 

Discovering or experiencing something together can be bonding. And seeing each other in a situation out of the normal can lower everyone’s guards.

Instead of a drink, try axe-throwing. Ditch dinner for an escape room. Exchange coffee for some kind of craft. In a class or just on your own. 

You’d be surprised how much pressure is taken off when you aren’t sitting across from each other with nothing to do besides talk. 

Take some time and come up with activities you’d enjoy doing with someone— it definitely varies from person to person. An added bonus is that suggesting a unique date idea makes you stand out, and the match more likely to meet up with you in person.

 

Resolution 4- Be Direct

 

We are hoping 2024 brings fireworks, a warm spring, and the long-awaited death of situationships. We are adults, dating other adults. Not children leaving notes on the playground. 

We are mature enough to say what we want. Don’t worry, this doesn’t mean committing to every match right off the bat. It does mean, being upfront and honest about if you are dating other people or not. 

It’s only awkward if you make it awkward. This is a conversation that saves people feelings, ends confusing ambiguity, and (if you’re building towards a relationship), establishes a foundation of trust and respect.

This New Years, make an effort to be upfront with others and honest with yourself. Don’t settle into the comfort of ambiguity, unless you want to find yourself in a situationship next holidays. 

 

Resolution 5- Re-Do Your Bio

 

You are not the person you were last year. You are a complex, unique individual who is always changing and, hopefully, growing. 

Ideally you should already have a descriptive bio that paints a vivid picture of your personality framed within a snapshot of your life. As you go into the new year, take a moment to refresh it.

Read it outlaid to a friend, or even just to yourself. Get the opinions of people you care about. Does it represent you? Is it intriguing? Is the person described in the bio someone you would want to get to know?

Pictures will always give your first impression, and some people who are dating superficially will not look any farther. But for those taking their relation ship search seriously, your bio is everything. 

With the same tired lines and jokes populating the majority of users, a genuine, well-written profile stands out and cuts through all the noise. 

If someone can read your bio and picture, truly picture, you as a person? Half the work of online dating is already done. A comprehensive bio means more conversations, shorter timeframes, and better IRL dates. 

If you’re struggling to fit yourself into the character limit, you can always start here.