Best OKCupid Prompts: Which to Pick and How to Use Them
How do you choose your best prompts? Which answers show the best parts of yourself?
Here is your extensive guide to how to make the most of your OKCupid profile, complete with examples.
What is special about OKCupid?
OKCupid is the more refined, relationship-focused, dating site. Just like its namesake– the roman god of love– OKCupid takes an active role in pairing up potential lovers. In contrast to the dummy-proof, straightforward interface of apps like Tinder, OKCupid makes sure you are making your dating decisions with the most information possible.
Besides the extensive profile (which we will help you with in just a moment!) OKCupid also requires you fill out an extensive “personality quiz” with in-depth questions about everything under the sun. This test fed into their advanced algorithm informs your “compatibility score” with each match. This percentage is a perfect way to gauge your interest at a glance.
The effort that OKCupid puts into compatibility makes them a top contender for best dating site for those seeking long-term relationships. Their system sets up for success– it’s up to you to seize the chance.
Five Questions, One Profile, No-Limits
Essentially, OKCupid has five text slots (each with various prompt options) and no character limit. This has pros and cons.
On the plus side you are not limited to a restricting character limit like you may be with Tinder or Hinge. On the downside you have nothing stopping you from rambling on into droning blocks of text.
It’s your responsibility to find the balance as you walk the line between oversharing and excessive secrecy. But don’t worry, we’re here to help.
Here are our picks for each category’s best prompts, and how to answer them.
Please Note: While writing client OKCupid profiles we have found 300 characters per question to be the sweet spot. The below guide includes shortened examples for each prompt to give you an idea and a place to start. Our OKCupid client profiles are significantly longer.
Category 1: About Me
Who are you, really? At the end of the day, what do you value most about yourself? What is important for your matches to know?
The options in this category range from mega-broad to hyper specific. Seeing as this is the first thing matches see (after your face), we recommend staying on the more general side. You have four more places to get more into the details, so use this first text box to give an overview of yourself.
Best Prompt: My Self-Summary
Use this prompt to paint a picture of your life. What is most of your time and energy dedicated to? What are the core values that drive the course of your life? Think less about the “hard facts” of your life (you can include those in the profile in other ways) and more about what philosophies guide it.
Examples:
At my core I am loyal to my loved ones, dedicated to my goals, and firmly true to myself. My mind is open, my humor is dry, and my sights are always set high.
Every day I strive to spend at least three hours outside. I enjoy my work and value relaxing at home, but nothing compares to how I feel when the air is fresh and the view is green.
Category 2: My Traits
Similar to the first category, this one is all about you. Try to avoid traits or qualities that the majority of people would say applies to them. Most people would claim to be nice, kind, trustworthy. Let’s save some time and take for granted that we all are those things. Now, beyond that, what is unique to you?
It can be tempting to downplay the statement with a self-deprecating joke or layer of irony. We urge you not to.
The sarcastic approach will more often come off as you being unsure of your answer, lacking confidence, or even embarrassed to admit something good about yourself. And you shouldn’t be.
Best Prompt: I Love This About Myself
Take this as a chance to directly, honestly, and sincerely share what you value most about yourself. Don’t exaggerate or minimize, but definitely do go into deep detail explaining how this quality manifests in your life. Be specific and be proud.
Examples:
For better or worse, I am incapable of the whitest of lies, and deception in a foreign concept to me. While it makes me the worst poker player you’ll ever meet, I do value how consistently authentic I am– it’s easy to be true to yourself when you never try to be anyone else.
There are no half-measures in my life, and I strongly believe that everything worth doing is worth doing well. Even if I decide that something is simply not for me (salsa dancing, unfortunately), I only walk away after giving it my absolute best effort. You can never say I didn’t try!
Category 3: Moments
This category can serve to paint an image of what your life looks like. Even if it’s a straightforward, factual reply, a thoughtful, genuine answer can tell matches lot about your personality. As always, avoid the generic, could-apply-to-anyone answers. Use it to share your favorite parts of your life, or highlight a goal on your radar.
Also, if you want to be a bit strategic about it, this prompt can be used to find common ground in the form of an activity you could do together.
Best Prompt: A Perfect Day
What parts of your days bring you the most joy? This is a chance to show potential matches a quick glance into a sweet, intimate part of your life.
Think of pleasures that are more unique to you, not just things that everyone enjoys. Be specific, and include why this thing brings you happiness, or how it makes you feel.
Example:
My favorite days are the ones where I close the door on a project, or finally reach some goal. I love the sense of accomplishment as well as the opportunity to lay back and relax– ideally with a drink on my back porch. Even better with company, if you’re in.
Category 4: Secrets
The repetitive grind of online dating can make one forget that each profile is a real person. Everyone is human, with hopes and fears and insecurities. This category and our top pick prompt below can help remind us of that, with vulnerable, genuine answers that break through the digital boundary and spark a human connection.
Best Prompt: My Biggest Regret
I like this prompt because you can pivot your answer to look towards the future. Answer the prompt in a constructive way to show that you grow and improve over time, and aren’t kept down for long.
If just reading this is making you anxious, no worries. You can always keep it more lighthearted. Just remeber that everyone is human, everyone has regrets, so there’s never shame in being real.
Example:
Hesitating so much before starting my own business. If I could go back I would’ve trusted myself from the start and dived in headfirst. It’s never been easy but it’s always been worth it.
Category 5: Dating
Here is your chance to say exactly what you are looking for in a relationship. It’s important to only speak in positives, never in negatives. Always opt for “I want/ I’d love” instead of “I don’t want/ I hate.”
Sure, you may prefer the woman/ man of your dreams to have a successful career. But if you include “I don’t want to date anyone without a good job” on your profile, they may be offended on behalf of someone close to them, even if they themselves fit the qualification.
Be direct, specific, and absolutely stay away from anything appearance-based when answering your OKCupid prompts. That’s what photos are for.
Best Prompt: What I’m actually looking for
To be honest, all prompts in this category are essentially the same. The same answer can be applied to any of them. I chose this prompt for its directness, and the implication of authenticity that comes from the word actually.
Example:
A woman who is direct with her intention, open with her emotion, and generous with her affection. Someone who, like me, is family oriented but not in any rush, and wants to enjoy every stage of a relationship along the way.
Final Thoughts
Remember that no answer stands on its own. Everything you put into a profile– your photos, your words, even the answers to your compatibility test all mesh together to show a complete digital persona of who you are.
It’s worth the extra look to make sure that image is cohesive and in harmony. Take a second to look at your entire profile objectively, or even ask a friend to give their opinion. Are there repetitions or contradictions? Do adjectives clash or flow well together?
And if you’re still struggling to make all the pieces fit, no worries, we can help.
My Books:
How To Write A Great Online Dating Profile.
Within, you will find my best tips and strategies, including dos and don’ts, before and after examples, and a template to follow. There is also advice on which photos to choose and how to craft email messages. You will also find full written samples and a questionnaire to use for idea generation.
I designed this dating journal to help you process thoughts and feelings as they relate to who you are deciding to spend time with. This journal is a mix of guided prompts and plenty of free flow. You may want to view it as a mix of a plain journal and an interactive workbook. The prompts are recurrent based on Date 1, Date 2, Date 3 and more.
