Things Not To Do When Online Dating
No one said online dating was easy. Just like in-person dating, it’s full of nervous excitement, changing expectations, and (at times) bittersweet rejection. And there’s no guaranteed way to avoid every dating misstep. But, as dating profile writers, there’s a few common mistakes that we see again and again.
Online daters vary dramatically, as we see clearly with our clients. They range from 20 year olds looking for their first love, to 85 year old widows looking to try something new. People who are looking to get married within the year, some who never want to be married, and others with no expectations at all.
But no matter the age or situation in life, everyone is looking for some kind of connection. And everyone is susceptible to making the same mistakes, and standing in their own way. Here are the three online dating mistakes we see commonly, and how to avoid them.
Making Them Guess What You Look Like
It’s been said to death, but it is true. Confidence is the most attractive trait that anyone can have.
So when choosing photos of yourself make sure not to hide behind filters, group photos, sunglasses, or side angles. While you can have a variety of photos, make sure that what you look like is clear. The majority of photos should clearly show your face.
If more than one photo makes your appearance a secret, you are setting yourself up to fail.
No matter what you look like, some people will be attracted to you, and some will not. But by hiding your appearance, you are eliminating everyone.
Expecting Constant Communication
It can be easy to get wrapped up in the instant gratification of online dating. You like, you match, you message. Rinse and repeat.
But the beginning stages of dating are very different. Everyone has their own lives, routines, and phone habits. Not everyone will reply instantly, and that doesn’t mean they aren’t interested. Don’t expect someone that you met online to continue the frequency of messages as you settle into seeing each other in real life. The transition from online dating to a normal relationship is the goal, so embrace it.
Level your expectations, and don’t assume bad intentions.
Having a Negative Attitude
Online dating can be draining, we will admit. Many clients come to us frustrated and discouraged. Anyone can fall victim to swipe-fatigue, or feel like the search for love through a screen is pointless. Falling into this mindset is just shooting yourself in the foot. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy– the second you decide that online dating won’t work, then you stop taking it seriously, and it ends up not working.
Try your best to approach each match with a blank slate– don’t carry over past feelings from other online dating situations. Be open, genuine, and optimistic.
