The goal of your dating profile is to get conversations started. The goal of online dating is to ask for dates and go out.
Online dating does not actually mean date online. It’s a forum to introduce yourself to someone new. It’s a place to meet new people and say, ‘you seem like an interesting person and I’d like to meet you in real life.’
We all want to feel safe. And, we want to make the best use of our time. However, endless emailing and texting back and forth is not the way online dating is supposed to work. And, might end up wasting more time and energy. You will never know if another person is worth your while unless you meet them in person.
I’ve gone out on my share of dates that started off as great email conversations just to find it all fizzle out the minute I met the guy.
I remember one guy in particular. I was digging him. I’d look forward to a message from him and I’d work to compose a great response. These exchanges led me to be so excited to meet him in real life, but setting up that first date took a while.
I started to wonder why he wasn’t asking me out? What is he waiting for? It took him a couple of weeks. No joke. I rolled with it because he was the only guy I was talking at the time.
Side note: You don’t want to be a guy the girl goes out with because she’s bored. You want to be the guy she chooses over all the other guys she’s talking to. Ladies! Vice versa goes for you.
Guys, I’m going to tell you: Ask her out!!!
I know this can be tough to feel out. It’s nerve-wracking knowing when the appropriate time is. A good rule of thumb is somewhere in between the first email and one whole week. Don’t plan a date until you’ve had a few hearty genuine message exchanges, but also don’t wait so long that you’ve messaged back and forth your respective life stories. Let intuition be your guide.
Back to my guy. I liked him, I liked him from his profile, I liked him from his messages, but when I finally did meet him in person, I was disappointed.
Simply put, our wavelengths didn’t vibe. Something we could have learned sooner if we’d taken things offline sooner. He was a great guy, just not the one for me. I’m guessing he felt the same way because I never heard from him again either.
If there’s one thing we all know for sure, it’s that everyone on online dating is there for the same reason. It’s not like being out at the bar, unsure if the cutie who’s caught our eye is available or not. Everyone online dating is single, available and wants to date. So, do that! Go out on dates.
Added thought: Planning dates is another way to weed out potential scammers. See my post on that.