Is Online Dating The Same As Online Shopping?
Online dating is very much like shopping, but behind every online dating profile is a real human, not an inanimate object. A real human with thoughts, emotions, likes, dislikes; quirks!
The process for finding a date is similar to shopping for, let’s say, a new house hold item. We scroll through photos and headlines and think about how this or that person would fit in our life. However, we are not going to simply hang that pretty painting over our mantel. We are going to interact with it.
We sign up for online dating and in an instant there are 100s of people available to meet. But, we can’t just “add to cart” and have the woman or man of our dreams dropped off at our door step.
Let’s pretend for a moment that we can have dates delivered to our door, like we do a new piece of furniture. Wouldn’t you want a date that fits your lifestyle the same as you would want the couch to fit in your living room?
The intention of an online dating profile is to introduce yourself. You are also trying to sell yourself, that is true, and that is ok. But, be careful with what you want to sell.
Are you selling your abs, your fancy car, your big paycheck, your boobs? Or are you selling your passions, your values and what you want out of life? Because, in the end, isn’t it the latter that builds connection and compatibility?
It seems like people, when writing online dating profiles, shoot for perception rather than authenticity. And, as a result we end up shopping for dates instead of searching for genuine relationships. We often get tricked into believing that someone is something that they are not.
The reality is most people want real. It’s a bummer that many of us have weed through the unreal to find real. It’s a big fat waste of everyone’s time. You will get dates no matter who you pretend to be. You may even hit it off and go out a few times (maybe even longer). But, eventually true colors will shine through and the break-up will happen. The biggest gripe people have with online dating is meeting a person and finding out they are NOTHING like they appeared in their profile. You don’t need me to list all the examples.
What happened to being real? When did people start trying to work at being someone they are not? Why is it so hard for people to say what’s what? How did dating get so strategic? What happened to, I like you, you like me and away we go?
Part of the problem might be that some people don’t actually know themselves that well. They are not the type to self-reflect. That’s a whole other ball of wax, but something to keep in mind.
When designing your online dating profile you can do whatever you want. But, might I suggest if you want something real, then BE real. Be yourself. Create a high-quality genuine profile. Don’t create a perception and try to dupe people. Create honesty, credibility. Be natural, forthright and candid.
Think of your dating profile as your brand. What are you made of? What is your mission? What are you all about? What do you exude?
If you do that, and if everyone did that, then dating would be so much better. We’d be able to shop for the right fit. Because, remember, just like how we are shopping for the perfect bedspread to match the wall, we are shopping for a perfect mate to share our life with. What makes that person perfect for you?