Every day I come across articles titled such as “10 Things Women Do That Repel Men” or “How To Be More Attractive To Women.”
In essence they are articles full of advice and tips. But, the same tips apply to both genders. I’m not sure it’s so different for man as for woman (and visa versa) as it once might have been.
We are all looking for the same kinds of qualities in one another.
Some examples include:
• Have confidence
• Don’t be negative
• Be honest
• Don’t manipulate
• Be yourself
• Take a shower
Doesn’t it just come down to you like who you like? You are attracted to who you are attracted to? And, also what your goals are (ie casual or serious).
Then there are “The Rules.” This applies more to women than men. We ladies are told, don’t ever ever call a man, wait 24 hours to call him back. Men love the chase! Men pursue, women choose.
I get torn on this one. How relevant are gender roles these days? I tend to naturally follow the rules because I generally don’t give a crap. So, yeah, men reach out to me and I choose whether or not to respond. But, does that mean I can’t or shouldn’t? Some guys need a nudge. I might be missing out on a nice guy because I never bothered to say, yes, it’s ok to talk to me. I am still single, after all. And, I doubt that’s because I am or not following so called rules.
That’s where the world flattens and the lines blur. It seems to me that the distinct identifiers are not so distinct anymore.
There used to be married and unmarried. In this modern world of dating there are so many relationship combinations. Makes me wonder what the history of human relationship culture would have been if marriage as an institution never came about (perhaps I will explore if any research has been done here).
The ladies who wrote “The Rules” would shake their head and say, ok, go ahead, break them, but you’ll be sorry. You’ll never know if that guy really loves you or not. Why because I, a woman, asked him out on a date instead of the other way around? Don’t people just want to know that they are liked?
The phenomenon of modern dating is evolving. It’s all so new, and I don’t think we can place rules on it. There are too many variables. To be traditional or not be traditional….. Who knows.
To circle back to my original point, seems to me what many of us are looking for in a partner is someone who complements us. We are also encouraged to, and I implore this sentiment, be ourselves! So, at the end of the day, that’s what I say. Do what comes naturally and things will fall into place. And, check out the tips, man or woman, they help.
Any thoughts? Please comment below or on my Facebook page.